Fullmetal Alchemist Celebrity Island
by Snoring Tiger
Summary: The five human sacrifices are the stars of a new hit tv show! Ed and Mustang also become deadly rivals, both determined to win. Who will be the winner?  Rated T for Ed's 'colourful' language.
1. Chapter 1

"We've finally gathered all five of you. Now I can fufill my dream!" Father said to the five human sacrifices lying on the floor-Edward and Alphonse Elric, Van Hoenheim, Izumi Curtis and Roy Mustang. They had just been transported to his lair. "I have been planning this day for many years, and on this day with the solar eclipse I can finally make it happen!"

"You're planning the nationwide human transmutation circle aren't you? We know your plan. We're not gonna help you with it even if you force us!" Ed shouted, pulling himself up from the floor. Father only looked at him and laughed.

"Why would I do that if I am immortal for the time being? No, that was only a decoy to trick all of you."

"Aww, I wasted over a century by wandering around and planting the Philosopher's Stone everywhere? You could have told me. Now I've wasted my life...Years I'll never get back. Damn." Hoenheim mumbled.

"What we homunculus had planned is even greater than that! Something none of you pathetic humans would've seen coming!" Father declared.

"You're going to start another Civil War?" Alphonse shouted.

"Nope."

"Are you going to destroy Central then?" Izumi asked, now helping Mustang to stand up as he couldn't see.

"Guess again."

"Are you going to blow up the world?"

"No."

"Transport us to a different dimension?"

"Nah-ah."

"Gasp! You're not going to make us watch a musical starring you in it as the main lead are we?"

" 'Fraid not."

"Whatever you're doing, can I have my eyesight back, please?" Roy shouted. "Oh, sure. Sorry about that, I guess you need your eyesight for where you're going. "Father walked over to Mustang and poked him in the eyes, and with the Philosophers power it brought back his eyesight.

"Thanks, but you couldn't have done it without hurting my eyes much?" Mustang grumbled whilst rubbing his eyelids and getting his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the lair.

"Of course not, I'm evil. Did you forget already?"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO US THEN? TELL US ALREADY!" Edward screamed.

"Ah. Well, you're going to be...the participants in our brand new hit-reality TV show! It's called Fullmetal Alchemist Celebrity Island!" All five of the 'sacrifices' fell anime style.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" They all shouted.

"Hey, doesn't that title break the fourth wall?" Alphonse asked.

"I don't care; I'm evil!" Father menacingly laughed.

"Why is it always about Fullmetal, I'm epic too! I blame the fangirls..." Mustang mumbled, also accidently breaking the fourth wall.

"Shut up, only I can break the fourth wall! You're all going to the island NOW!" With Father waving goodbye to them, all five of the participants were suddenly transported to a strange island. There were a lot of palm trees, a waterfall and lake, a big beach, some mountains in the distance and a campfire area. All of them looked around at the island in awe.

"What is this place? Where is it?" Mustang asked.

"How the hell are we meant to know you idiot? We've just arrived here to for the first time you know!" Ed shouted at him. Ed was pissed about being teleported away from the lair as he wanted to beat up Father for tricking them all.

"Okay, okay just had to check." Mustang mumbled.

"All I can tell is that we are still in our dimension." Hoenheim declared. "But from the climate, I have no idea where on our earth we are."

"**Our five contestants have been gathered on our secret celebrity island! Who will leave this place first, and who will win?"** A voice from above boomed. It sounded a lot like Father's voice. All five of them looked at the sky in terror. Ed tried to jump in Al's armour for safety, but Al pushed him out.

"Don't worry you guys. It's just the voiceover man." Al whispered reassuringly to all of them, and they calmed down. "Anyway, it's getting dark, we should sort out our campsite." They all nodded and walked over to the campsite area. Five logs were arranged like a ring around a bunch of small twigs which Mustang hastily set alight to to make the campfire. They all sat on one of the logs and stared at the fire.

"Uh, where are we going to sleep?" Ed asked, looking to see if some beds would magically appear, but sadly none did. Izumi hit him on the head.

"OW!"

"You idiotic stupid moronic child! When I sent you to stay on the island with Alphonse for a month you had no beds there! Make your own bed using the materials here!" When Ed grinned and clapped his hands, Izumi punched him on the head again.

"OW! I'M DOING WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO TEACHER!" Ed shouted, rubbing his head.

"Don't call me teacher! When I meant using the materials here, I didn't mean using alchemy! Use the _natural _materials here like the leaves and the wood and whatnot."

"Besides, we can't do alchemy here. I tried to make another flame but I couldn't." Mustang complained.

"If you did it before, how can you not do it now?" Al asked him, seeing if he could do alchemy, but he couldn't either.

"**Well, it looks like our contestants have realised that we control when they can do alchemy or not! How will they survive now?"** Father shouted, still being the voiceover.

"That voice in the sky is really starting to piss me off." Ed grumbled whilst cracking his auto mail knuckle. Ignoring Ed, the voiceover continued.

"**This is their first task: Making their bed! Whoever makes the best bed will get an advantage in the next challenge!"**

"Um, Voiceover-san? I don't need to sleep, my body doesn't let me. Do I still need to make a bed or not?" Alphonse asked the voice in the sky timidly.

"**It's optional, but if you don't you are by default the loser of this challenge. The person who loses this challenge will have to sleep in the same area as the wild chimpanzee tonight! Good luck contenders, you have one hour!"** With that, the voice over finished for the night, and the contenders were left on their own. They all rushed to gather random materials that they could find to make their beds whilst shouting insults at each other.

"Why are you rushing Mustang? Scared of a few little chimpanzees?" Ed yelled at Mustang whilst picking up some big palm tree leaves.

"Why would I be scared of them? There's no reason for you to be scared, with your height they might not see you!" Mustang shouted back.

"I AM NOT SHORT!"

"Well, I'm going to win and I don't even need a bed!" Alphonse replied.

"Yeah right. We all know I'm going to win." Hoenheim and Izumi shouted at the same time and then glared at each other. Eventually, after a few more shouts of "Ecological Bastard", "Fullmetal Ant" and "Beardy" they all finished the task and lied down on their beds.

"Well, now what?" Izumi asked, and as soon as she said it Winry came over to them.

"W-Winry! What the hell are you doing here?" Ed asked, pointing at her.

"Well, I'm the TV show host of course. I've been in on this the whole time. Naturally I'd be here. Otherwise I'd start to worry about you and Al."

"But it's dangerous here Winry." Alphonse told her.

"Not for me-I have my own trailer a while away from here, so don't worry." She ignored the faces of disbelief whilst she continued to talk. "Anyway, it's time for me to inspect the beds all of you guys made. I'll start with Mustang-san's bed." She walked over to his bed and as she sat on it it broke. Mustang looked sheepish as everyone laughed. All of the beds broke except for Alphonse's as it wasn't elevated, thus making him the winner.

"Somehow I see irony in this situation." Winry commented. "Now, the person who made the worst bed...Ed."

"WHAT? WHY ME!" He yelled, storming up to her. She had a pissed off look on her face which scared Ed.

"BECAUSE IT BROKE FASTEST AND IT WAS UNCORMFTORBLE YOU MORON! AT LEAST I COULD'VE SLEPT ON THE OTHER ONES!" She yelled back. So Ed walked out of the campsite whilst Mustang laughed at him.

"I better beat that bastard colonel if it's the last thing I do on this bloody island." Ed grumbled as he tried to get cosy in the chimpanzee's sleeping area.

**I don't really know where I got the idea for this story, but I have real fun writing this! I hope you enjoyed reading this. Sorry if you get confused by the story and sorry if some of the characters are OOC. Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

It was the next morning on the Fullmetal Alchemist Celebrity Island, and all five of the participants were just waking up and greeting Edward who had come back from sleeping in the wild chimpanzees the previous night. Edward walked up to them whilst cracking his back saying "Hey guys. Never sleep in the same place as fucking chimpanzees, EVER. They kept trying to sleep on my head and kept poking me."

"We know brother, we could hear you from where we were sleeping." Alphonse replied whilst rubbing his eyes. "You don't remember?"

**FLASHBACK TO THE PREVIOUS NIGHT**

"_Damn monkeys! Get off my face! I hate you, you disgusting creatures!" _

_Al, Mustang, Izumi and Hoenheim woke up again to hearing Ed rant at the chimpanzees._

"_This is the fifth time he's woken us up." Mustang complained. "Hey Fullmetal! We're trying to sleep. Shut the hell up and ignore the chimpanzees!"_

"_Shut up you ecological colonel! You try sleeping here. Do you know how it feels to have them sleeping on your head?" After his rant, Ed managed to push the monkeys off him._

"_Ed, if you don't shut up and sleep I'll come over there and knock you out cold so you'll just shut up!" Izumi screamed._

_There was a long pause and Ed shouted "Good night everyone." And he hastily fell asleep._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"Oh yeah..." Ed replied, remembering the previous night. "Well, what do we have to do today? Has Winry come by yet?"

"No, she hasn't been here yet Edward." Hoenheim told him, rubbing his eyes. "Oh look, she's coming over here now."

"Hey guys!" Winry greeted them as she took out a piece of paper. "It says on this paper that all of you need to go to the beach now where you will have your first proper task. C'mon and follow me there!" All of them followed Winry in silence until they got to the beach. At the beach they saw that there were five different rings in the ocean, and in each ring there were lots of small tuna fish.

"**Our five contestants have made it to the beach to do the first task. They have to catch as many of the fish they can without using alchemy in two minutes. The winner will receive 5000 cenz and the loser will have to stand in their ring whilst the others throw their caught fish at them. Any questions?" **The voiceover declared to the bewildered group.

"Voiceover-san, I won the challenge and was told I'd get an advantage here. What is it?" Alphonse asked.

"**You automatically start with five fish in your collecting bucket! Everyone go to one of the rings!"**

They all went up to one of the rings and looked at the fish. Ed and Mustang took off their gloves, thinking it would be easier to catch the fish without them.

"**Three, two, one and begin!"**

ED'S POV

When he said to start, I instantly leapt into the ring and tried to catch one. Because I have an auto mail arm, I thought it would be easy to crush the fish and put them in. But my auto mail gets slippery in the water and after half time, I had only managed to catch one fish.

"Why can't I catch these fish?" I growled as I jumped back into the water, accidently leaving my mouth open. I actually caught two fish in my mouth. Ew. It tasted disgusting. But I put them in my bucket and carried on doing that.

When the time was up I had got six more fish with my mouth, and I absolutely wanted to hurl-fish are all scaly and slimy and some of it went down my throat! So, I walked up to Mustang's bucket and proceeded to vomit in his fish bucket. Needless to say he didn't exactly look please. But I had got nine fish, and I was sure I would win. I ran back to my ring before Mustang could say anything. I heard him shout "What the hell Fullmetal?" but I only grinned at him, happy at my evilness.

AL'S POV

Starting off with five fish made it a lot easier for me to win, but I already had a tactic to win which none of the others could do. When voiceover-san told us to start, I lowered myself into the water and opened my chest plate, letting a flood of water in, and hopefully some fish.

But I had to be careful as to not wash away brother's blood seal. So I just sat there whilst I watched Ed try and catch fish with his mouth. It was entertaining yet revolting at the same time.

With five seconds left, I walked to my bucket and emptied my armour from the water and checked my blood seal, which was still safely there. I noticed that with my method I had only got two fish, making seven fish in total. Just as I finished counting the fish, I heard Mustang shout "What the hell Fullmetal?" and I looked into his fish bucket. There was vomit in it. Poor Mustang.

"Oh brother." I muttered whilst face palming.

IZUMI'S POV

I thought that all of the other guys would try to catch the fish in an uncivilised manner except for Alphonse who would try to befriend them probably . Whilst they were trying to be nice to the tuna fish, I had an even better way to win.

"If YOU DON'T GET INTO THE BUCKET NOW, I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOU!" I shouted at the fish whilst giving them an evil death glare. Instantly about five fish swam into the bucket. I was very pleased with this and carried on bullying the fish to swim in. After one minute though I had a problem. My bucket was full of fish but there were still more. Oh well, I bet I get way more than the others any way. I just sat on the beach and lied down on it waiting for the time to finish. By the time we finished, I noticed that Hoenheim only had one fish, so I decided to give him four of mine-I'd still win, but I didn't want him to come last. He smiled at me and I smiled quickly and went back to my fish bucket to find it was empty. Needless to say I was pissed off.

HOENHEIM'S POV

I'll be honest, When I was growing up I never learnt how to fish, due to the fact I was kept as a slave. However, I thought I could catch them in a proper manner without offending the poor creatures.

When we were allowed to start, I found one of the bigger fish and bent down to look it in the eyes. "Hello, my name's Van Hoenheim, what's yours?" I asked the fish. That's right, I was going to come to an understanding with the fish like I had with the souls of my Philosopher's Stone. Unfortunately, the fish didn't speak Amestrian so it was hard to come to an understanding with it. So I tried to stroke and play with the fish, and when we reached half time, I picked him up and gently carried him to my bucket and placed him in it carefully. "I'll be back soon for you Gregory." I thought the name Gregory suited him.

None of the fish approached me after that, I think they were scared of me. So, with a sigh, I lunged for one, but it bit me on my finger. Hard. After that I was put off trying anymore. So I moved to where Gregory was and started to talk to him.

When time was up, I saw Izumi come up to me and give me four of her fish. Touched, I smiled at her and she smiled back. Maybe I wasn't going to lose after all.

MUSTANG'S POV

Without any expertise in fishing, this was going to be rough. So, because all the fish were near the bottom, I thought that maybe if trod on the floor it would scare the fish and make them come to top where I could grab them with my bare hands. However this didn't work and by the time was up, I hadn't succeded in catching any fish at all. No matter what, I couldn't lose to Fullmetal!

I noticed that Izumi was away from her bucket, so I ran quickly to her bucket, put all the fish into my bucket and ran really fast back to my spot before she could catch me. I did steal a glance at her face, and it was obvious that she would murder me if she found out I took them.

Just at that moment, Fullmetal came up to my bucket and puked in it. For a few moments I was still and silent with shock at what he'd done, but then I got angry. "What the hell Fullmetal?" I shouted at him. Just when i was going to beat him he had to do that? Either way, if you get rid of the puke in my bucket, you could see that I had clearly won.

NORMAL POV

"Well, judging by everything, Izumi-san is our winner, she had the most fish until Mustang-san stole all of her fish, making him the loser." Winry declared. Alphonse and Hoenheim sighed in relief that neither of them had lost. Izumi was being restrained by Ed as she wanted to mureder him for stealing her fish whilst Mustang tried to hide in Al's armour.

"Mustang-san, please kindly get out of my body."

"But Alphonse, I'm scared of her."

"Get out now." Alphonse said, surprisingly stern.

"Fine."

Ed was laughing so much when Mustang had to stand in his ring whilst the others surrounded him with their buckets of fish. One by one they threw their fish at him. Hoenheim and Al tried to hit Mustang's feet so they wouldn't hurt him whilst Ed kept throwing his into Mustang's face. Once them three had run out of fish, Izumi walked up to Mustang. She tipped over Mustang's bucket (with the vomit) right on top of his head.

"This is officially the best day of my life!" Ed shouted whilst laughing.

"This is officially the worst day of my life." Mustang grumbled, wiping his face in the water.

**So this is chapter two! Next chapter, one of the contestants will be eliminated from the island, but who will it be? Also, we find out the grand prize for winning Fullmetal Alchemist Celebrity Island...**

**Huzzah for cliffhangers!**


	3. Chapter 3

"Alright, after today's task, Izumi is in the lead with one point!" Winry told all of the contestants.

"Um, what are the points for exactly? What do we do with them?" Hoenheim asked her.

"I don't really know, let's ask voiceover-san!" Winry looked up to the sky. "Voiceover-san, what are the points for?"

"**They only serve a purpose for when there are two contestants left. Whoever gets the most points from the two finalists will win...FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST CELEBRITY ISLAND!" **The voiceover declared to them melodramatically.

"I can see a flaw in that planning." Ed mumbled.

"**Oh and what is that?" **The voiceover sounded annoyed.

"What if the two finalists have no points or the same amount?" Ed asked sounding bored.

"**Well, um, you see...SHUT UP!"**

Trying to stop the fight, Winry spoke to the others quickly. "Anyway, it's time to follow me back to the campsite where there is a surprise waiting for you." Rushing quickly back to the campsite they saw that there was a booth in the centre there with a camera in it and a box.

"It is time for the first elimination you guys. Each of you have to vote for a person that you want to leave, and you say why into the camera. If you want to sit outside for a while to think about your decision, you are allowed to-"Winry explained.

"No way, lemme in there, lemme in there!" Ed rushed into the booth and faced the camera, shutting the curtain (as best as he could-curtains don't really shut) and sat down.

ED'S POV

"Well, let's be honest, I think we all know who I want to leave this island. If you haven't already guessed, I suggest getting a brain." I said quickly to the camera whilst writing a name quickly on the piece of paper. "I am voting for Mustang, because...well, um, he tried to cheat by taking teacher's fish, and, and he annoys us all, especially me. So, that is my vote." I shoved his paper into the voting box and exited the booth.

"You're turn to vote Mustang." I told him whilst smirking.

MUSTANG'S POV

"I bet that twerp voted for me." I told the camera whilst shutting the curtain. "So, I vote for Edward to leave the island, because...well...um, because he only picks on me and not the others which upsets me. So there." To be honest, it was hard to come up with a legitimate reason, because I couldn't exactly say that he's my rival, could I? Anyway, I wrote his name on the paper, put it in the box when I got a really good idea. This is a TV show right, which means anyone could watch.

"Oh and if Riza's watching this, hey." I did an awkward kind of wave to the camera and rushed out of the booth.

"Al, your go." I told the suit of armour, and started to have a glaring contest with Fullmetal.

AL'S POV

I didn't know who to vote for-I just wanted everyone to be friends, I didn't want to get rid of one of my friends or family! Shutting the curtain and sitting down, I talked to the camera.

"To be honest, I don't really know who to vote for" I confessed. "So, I'm going to pick teacher, but only because she won today's challenge and she can almost be seen as a threat to me-in more ways than just winning this competition!" I slowly wrote her name on the piece of paper when I realised something.

"Um, do you know how to spell Izumi?" I asked the camera. I tried to write it how it sounded. I never had to write her real name before. It came out as Ezzumi. I carefully put the slip in the box, and left the room.

"Dad, it's your go."

HOENHEIM'S POV

I truly couldn't care less about who was going to win this stupid contest-I just wanted to go to back to Risembool and see Pinako and Trisha again. Sadly though, I had the feeling that you couldn't vote for yourself, so I did the next best thing.

"Well, I vote for Alphonse." Hoenheim told the camera.

"Why dad? How could you be so mean to me?" Alphonse started to make crying noises.

"There, there Al. Ignore the bastard." Ed was whispering to his brother in a comforting way. I looked around and saw I hadn't shut the curtain. So, I quickly went and shut the curtain.

"I'm voting for him because he can't handle competition well." Putting his name into the box, I rushed outside to console him and tell him my reasoning.

IZUMI'S POV

Judging that Hoenheim voted for his son, Ed probably voted for Mustang and vice-versa, the only person's vote I didn't know was Alphonse's. Now I could tell the outcome-kinda. And I knew who to vote for. Making sure I shut the curtain, I spoke to the camera.

"I'm voting for Hoenheim as he voted for his son. I also have a theory that Al voted for me, making it so we each have one vote. This is going to be interesting." I chuckled whilst writing Hoenheim's name and putting it in the box. "Now, let's see what happens."

NORMAL POV

"Right, everyone has voted. Now we need to read out the votes." Winry went to collect the voting box and opened it, picking out a slip.

"The first vote is for Alphonse." When she said this, all of them glared at Hoenheim whilst Alphonse cried harder. Hoenheim looked embarrassed.

"Okay, the second vote is for...how are you meant to say this? Oh, now I get it. The second vote is for Izumi."

"I KNEW IT ALPHONSE! IF YOU APPRECIATE YOUR LIFE I SUGGEST YOU RUN, NOW!" Izumi screamed, pointing at him.

"H-how did you know it was me teacher?" Alphonse asked, hiding behind Ed ("Don't hide behind _me _Al, she'll kill us both!").

"I have my ways. I'll let you live this time though, seeing that you're upset." She grumbled, sitting back down again.

"Right...anyway the third vote is for Mustang."

"Yeah, I totally didn't see that coming or anything...Fullmetal." Mustang said sarcastically whilst Ed just smirked at him.

"The next vote is for Ed."

"Hey!"Ed shouted whilst Mustang was smirking at him.

"Huh? The final vote is for Hoenheim." Hoenheim now knew that Izumi voted for him, but he didn't really feel like picking a fight with her, he liked living.

"I don't really know what to do now if there's a tie." Winry mumbled. "What do you suggest we do, voiceover-san?"

"**I know what we have to do. Everyone make a circle around Winry."** Looking confused, they did as he asked.** "Winry shut your eyes and spin around in a circle. Once you finish point at a person. That person picks who is leaving."**

"WHAT? HOW IS THAT EVEN A PROPER WAY TO PICK?" Ed screamed at the sky.

"Just do it Ed." Izumi said to him. Once they were surrounding her, Winry began to spin around in a circle for a few seconds. When she stopped with her eyes still shut, she pointed at...

"Oh, Hoenheim, you get to pick who leaves." Winry told him whilst being dizzy still. Alphonse mumbled "I'll miss you brother."

Hoenheim looked around at everyone and then looked back at Winry.

"I can get rid of who I want to? Anybody?" He asked her.

"Well yes, but not me."

"I see. Well, I vote for me to go out." He told them. "I'm sorry Alphonse. I only voted for you originally as I saw that you can't handle competition well. But I can tell that if you're with Edward you'll do a lot better."

"Thanks dad." Alphonse whispered whilst hugging Hoenheim.

"Are you sure you want to eliminate yourself Hoenheim?" Winry asked him.

"I'm sure. Thanks for everything, see you all later!" As if on cue, there was a flash of purple light, and Hoenheim was gone-he was transported back to Risembool to be with Trisha and Pinako.

"**Well there are only four contestants left- Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, Izumi Curtis and Roy Mustang. Who will be eliminated next? And what other tasks lie in wait for them? Find out in the next instalment of FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST CELEBRITY ISLAND!"**

"You know, this voiceover is great at doing cliff-hangers." Mustang commented, with them all nodding in agreement.

_**I had to get rid of Hoenheim in this chapter-it would be awkward if he stayed in if one of the other, more bad-ass character's was gone XD I hope you like this chapter.**_


	4. Chapter 4

That night, all of them sat around the campfire, roasting rabbit meat on the campfire-the little meat that they could salvage. They were talking about what future challenges there may be.

"Maybe we have to trek across the entire island." Al suggested whilst watching his brother eat.

"That wouldn't actually be too bad. This island is what, 5 kilometres long?" Izumi replied to him. "No, I think it's going to be something even worse. I bet that we have to wrestle 5 wild chimpanzees each!"

"Please, I had to stay at their campsite, they're annoying but they're not tough to fight. I just hope we don't have to swim." Ed managed to say whilst eating his food.

"And why is that Fullmetal?" Mustang asked, to which he got a mumbled reply he couldn't hear. "Sorry, I couldn't hear you, Fullmetal."

"Because I never learnt how to swim." Ed mumbled a little bit louder, just loud enough for the colonel to hear. He looked at the boy in amusement. "To be honest, I never learnt how to swim either, so that's OK." Mustang told the teenager for once in a comforting way.

"If I swim, I might die, so the producers would never make us do that...would they?" Alphonse asked.

"Mmm. Well, we'll just have to see tomorrow what challenge we have to do, so let's get some rest." Izumi told them. Lying down on her newly made bed, she fell asleep whilst the others were still awake.

"Umm, Mustang, err, can I ask you a question?" Ed asked him nervously.

"Well Ok. What is it?"

"Do you think that, we should...make a temporary alliance here? I help you, you help me?" Ed didn't look at Mustang when he said this; it was killing his pride on the inside to ask him. Mustang looked at the kid and smirked. "What's this, you scared of me now Fullmetal?"

"No, of course not! It's just that I and Al have an alliance naturally, so I was wondering if you wanted one too. Besides you heard what the grand prize was for winning this contest." Ed replied in a rush.

"I don't remember, what was it?" Al asked them.

"**Well Alphonse, the winner of this contest has the ability to end one of the other four's ability to do alchemy forever." **The voiceover whispered, scared of waking Izumi up.

"Isn't that a bit harsh?" Mustang asked.

"**I don't care; I'm evil! Don't you remember?"**

"Anyway Mustang, I don't want either of us to lose our alchemy, or you too Al, so why don't all three of us make an alliance? Otherwise, there's a good chance that we'll make an alliance with Izumi instead." Ed told Mustang, who looked at the slumbering woman, then at the suit of armour, and then at Ed. "Ok, you got a deal." He said shaking Ed and Al's hands. "I'm going to go get some fresh water from the stream, I'll be back soon." Mustang got up and left the campfire area.

"Did you hear that Izumi? Mustang wants to gang up on you, I told you." Ed called to his former teacher once Mustang had left. "That's why we should make an alliance to help you Al and myself get into the Top three."

"You, Edward Elric, are extremely sneaky." A smile crossed Izumi's face. "Alright, I'll form an alliance with you and Al. We'll beat that ecological bastard to a pulp!"

"See Al, I'm not the only one who calls him an ecological bastard!" He grinned triumphantly at his younger brother who face palmed.

"Whatever you say brother. Let's just get some sleep."

* * *

The four contestants woke up to hearing Winry say "Wake up! It's time for the next challenge, and I'm sure you won't like it!" She started to giggle.

"Win, why are you laughing if we're not going to like this?" Ed groaned, yawning.

"Because it's going to be hilarious for me! Now come _on!_ Everyone else is awake; we need to go to the challenge area!" She yanked him off the floor and dragged him to the challenge area with everyone else following behind them. By the time they got there, Ed's face had turned red as he yanked his hand away from her.

There were four tables laid out, and on each table were 4 big craters. They couldn't see inside the craters, so it was hard to guess what they were going to do.

"Now that you are all gathered here, I can tell you your challenge. Each of you go to a table and open one of the craters. They each went to a table and opened one of the craters. What they saw disgusted them.

"Right, now you have to eat all that is in that crater. Al, because you can't eat, you'll have to put them through your helmet and let it stay inside your body. All right! Oh, and if you vomit or swallow it up, you are disqualified. Three, two, one and begin!"

ED'S POV

Wasn't it perfect, in my crater I had a huge pile of dead ants. The reason I say its perfect is that I've already eaten dead ants when me and Al were stuck on the island with the masked man. This was going to be easier on me. But it was still extremely gross. I picked one of them up and quickly put it in my mouth and swallowed.

"Oh shit." I mumbled. Turns out the ants were alive, and this one enjoyed crawling up my throat. This could take a long time. A very long time.

AL'S POV

I was grateful that I didn't have to swallow what was in my crater, but it was sad on me for two reasons: Firstly it would take a while to get them out of my armour and secondly, I had to put live snakes in my armour, which reminded me of Marta who was murdered in my armour. I may have the advantage physically, but I was emotionally disadvantaged.

There were about ten small snakes in the crater. Slowly I picked one up and put it in my armour carefully. I could feel it wriggle around like Marta. Resisting the urge to cry (as best as I could in the armour) I kept trying to slowly one at a time put them in, but I just couldn't.

MUSTANG'S POV

Before I opened my crate and saw Ed had ants in his crater. How fitting, the Fullmetal Ant had to eat ants. I began to smirk, but stopped when I saw what was in my crater- Four dead crickets.

I was sure they were dead when I picked one up and it didn't move. Breaking it up into really small parts, I put them in one at a time and swallowed very quickly, thinking that it was Riza's cooking which would explain the bad taste. After five minutes I had eaten two of the crickets this way. I wanted nothing more than to puke. Damn Winry saying I couldn't.

IZUMI'S POV

A rat. When I opened the lid I saw a rat staring back at me. Now the thing that no-one really knows about me (except for my wonderful husband Sig) is I have a huge phobia of rats. If I look at one I feel sick, and it's not much better for me if it's dead looking at me, is it?

Right then and there I sat on the floor and began to shudder. I couldn't take it; I couldn't eat that disgusting vermin!

NORMAL POV

"Izumi-san, are you alright?" Winry ran over to where Izumi was, and saw that she was shivering. Ed and Al saw their teacher shaking and ran over to her too.

"What's wrong?" Al asked putting an arm around her.

"R-rats. I hate them. I am terrified of them. I-I-can't eat it!" Izumi buried her head in between her hands, and stopped shaking.

"You don't have to eat it Izumi-san. You can always give up and disqualify yourself. But if you do that you're eliminated I'm afraid." Winry told her. They saw Izumi nod, and she stood up. "I'm absolutely ashamed at myself for quitting, but I absolutely can't do it."

She walked over to the brothers and gave them both a hug. "Thanks for worrying about me, but I have to go now. I'm counting on you to win!" They both looked at her with determination in their eyes (well, in Ed's, you couldn't see it in Al's).

"We will. I understand." Ed told his former teacher as there was a zap of purple light and she was gone.

"I ate those crickets for nothing?" Mustang asked Winry.

"Well, I guess so. Because she left by choice, there is no winner, so no points are won. "Alphonse immediately reached into his armour and took the snake out whilst mumbling "Marta". Today was a bad day for all of them. They returned to the camp area with heavy hearts. Eating ants, swallowing a snake, consuming dead crickets and another person leaving-it was definitely their worst day on the island.

"Well, there are only three of us now. May the best man win. No alliances, nothing." Mustang offered both his hands to the brothers, and they both shook his hands.

"Yeah!" Edward shouted.

"**The top three finalists already! Who will win and who will be the runner-up? These questions will be answered soon, my friends on Fullmetal Alchemist Celebrity Island!" **The voiceover shouted.

_**Yeah, I'm sorry to get rid of Izumi like that, but trust me it was the best way I could get her off the show whilst fitting in with the story. It shouldn't get any more depressing, and there's going to be more challenges! Hope you liked this chapter.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Ooh, aren't you guys lucky, getting three chapters in one day!**

Somehow, when the final three contestants woke up that morning (except for Al who was watching some birds fly) the day felt, well different from the others. Not because it was only down to the three main rivals, but it felt more relaxed.

"It feels a lot more laid back today. That could be just because Winry hasn't come here yet, oh wait...oh hey Winry." Ed said quickly, praying she hadn't heard the first part.

"Oh hey Ed! Anyway, there is going to be no task today, so you have a day to relax. Any questions?"

"Why don't we have a task? I'm sure as hell not complaining, but I'd like to know." Mustang asked. Winry sighed. "Do you want the made up excuse the producers came up with or the truth?"

"What's the made up excuse?" Alphonse asked.

"That the competition is going too fast." She answered. "Come to think of it, it is going too fast, but oh well."

"Then what's the real excuse?" Ed asked her, confused at why they'd need an excuse in the first place.

"The producers are too lazy to come with a challenge for today." Winry answered, watching the three men sweat drop."Well, have fun on your day off! Bye!" She walked out of the woods.

They all looked at each other. "What are we meant to do on a _day off_ when you're stranded on an island?" Ed asked.

"How the hell are we meant to know?"

"Good point. In that case, I'm going back to sleep." Ed went on his bed and fell asleep instantly.

"Really, brother can be no fun sometimes." Al told Mustang. "So what should we do?" Mustang looked confused for a second then he got an idea. "I want to spar you Al, I've never had a chance to before."

"Okay! But I warn you that not even brother has beaten me."

"Oh Al, don't be_little _me. Give me more credit than the atomic shrimp." Mustang smirked at the slumbering boy.

"D-don't call me short, short, you ecological bastard." Ed stirred in his sleep. "He has good hearing even in his sleep." Alphonse explained to the confused colonel. "Anyway, let's find a place to spar."

* * *

Once they had gotten on to the beach, Alphonse lunged at Mustang. Not seeing this coming, Mustang got a punch in the face. "Hey Alphonse, we didn't even say start!"

"_A soldier favours haste over cleverness. _Sounds familiar to you?" Alphonse mocked Mustang, using his own quote against him. Getting pissed off at him, Mustang leapt up and tried to trip him by kicking his armoured feet quickly. But, being the heavy suit of armour, he didn't exactly trip over easily. Alphonse then picked up Mustang and dropped him to the floor.

"Damnit, you're strong Al." Mustang mumbled. "Now I can't pick on Ed for not being able to beat you-I know exactly how he feels now." He leapt to his feet and tried to punch Al where his stomach would be and he managed to make Al lose his footing. Grinning, Mustang punched him again harder this time and Al fell to the floor. There was only one problem now.

"Ow, ow ow ow ow! I just punched STEEL!" Mustang yelled, cradling his bright red hand. Running to the ocean water, he dipped his hand into the cool, refreshing water. "Ah, that's much better." Mustang sighed and when he returned to where Al was, he saw he was snickering.

"What is it Al?" Mustang growled. He was annoyed that he couldn't defeat a boy aged 15 when he himself was 30.

"That's why brother can't beat me. Whenever he does hurt me, it hurts him more." Alphonse laughed. "Oh look, it's Winry. What is she here for?"

"Hey guys! I have a nice surprise for you! Each of you are allowed to ring one special person you want to talk to."

"Winry, I don't have anyone I want to talk to." Ed walked up behind her, putting his hair into his trademark braid.

"Ah, I thought that'd be the case, so here." Winry dialled a number into it and handed the phone to him.

"Who did you ring Winry?" Ed asked.

"You'll see."

THE PHONE CONVERSATION

"Hello?" It was Greedlin who answered the phone.

"This is your number Ling? I mean Greed? I mean Greedlin?" Ed death glared at Winry.

"Why're you asking if you rang me up?"

"Winry just told me to speak to you."

"Ok...well now we've spoken, can I go now?" Greedlin asked, sounding bored.

"Eh, sure." Ed replied.

"Oh, Ling told me to tell you that he's sorry for the room service bill."

"What-I never gave him any-DAMN THAT LING!" Ed shouted, but Greed had already hung up on him.

END OF PHONE CONVERSATION

"What'd Ling do brother?"

"Ate probably everything on the room service bill under my name." Ed replied to his brother seething.

"Any way, Al your turn." After dialling a number, she handed him the phone.

PHONE CONVERSATION

"Hello?" Mei answered her cell phone.

"Oh hey Mei-chan!"

"Alphonse-sama? You rang me? Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Mei shouted down the phone.

"Uh, yeah. Are you ok Mei-chan?"

"Alphonse-sama is asking if I'm alright? Sqeeeeeee! Yeah I'm feeling better now that I'm speaking to you, I feel great! When will I see you again?" She asked him.

"I'll be able to see you soon Mei I promise. Bye!" Al hung up the phone before Mei could give him more of a headache with her screaming.

END OF PHONE CONVERSATION

"That sounded...painful." Ed commented. Al nodded.

"Now I can pity you for having fan girls." Al muttered.

"**Only I can break the fourth wall, damnit!"** With those words, the voiceover made it's only cameo in this chapter.

"Winry, I'd like to speak to Riza." Mustang told her, who nodded innocently.

"Ok this is her number."

PHONE CONVERSATION

"HELLO? THIS IS ALEX LUIS ARMSTRONG SPEAKING!" Alex Luis Armstrong boomed down the phone. Everybody could hear his voice and began to laugh at the colonel. Sighing and glaring at the girl, said colonel replied "Hey Armstrong."

"WHAT A PLEASENT SURPRISE TO HEAR FROM YOU COLONEL MUSTANG! MY HUGE MUSCLES ARE RIPPLING IN JOY!" Armstrong shouted. Ed, Al and Winry were all rolling on the floor laughing.

"Good to know...well this is kind of awkward to be honest."

"DON'T WORRY; THE ART OF TAKING A HINT HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN MY FAMILY FOR _**GENERATIONS**_!" With those words being said, Armstrong hung up on Mustang. He was watching the others laugh.

END OF PHONE CONVERSATION

"Oh...oh..oh that was too funny!" Winry laughed.

"It was so cliché; he did everything stereotypical of his personality!" Ed laughed.

"But that just made it even better." Al replied. After a couple of minutes they all calmed down again.

"Well, now what do we do, I'm bored." Ed complained, hitting a twig at a tree for no apparent reason.

"Ooh, let's play charades!" Winry shouted, getting up. "Um, okay, who am I?" She went down onto her knees and started to say "I hate milk-it's liquid secreted from a cow. Damn Mustang. I'm not short, you're just giants!" Everybody laughed except for Ed who was blushing and looking away from her.

"It's true you know." Ed mumbled. "Anyway it's my go." He got up and immediately ran to Mustang. "Are any of your limbs auto mail? Lemme see them, pleeeaasse? Hey, don't insult me!" Grinning, he took a wrench from his pocket and hit Mustang on the head with it.

"Ow Fullmetal, what the hell was that for? And when did you get a wrench?" Ed looked at him straight in the eye.

"Trust me, when you have been hit on the head each day by one, you learn to take one with you for protection. This also may sound childish but." Ed turned around to face Winry. "I challenge you to a wrench duel." At first Winry just looked at him, but then her eyes started to glitter. "You're on! May the best *cough cough ME* person win!" As she got her wrench out and was about to start the duel, the voice over made its second cameo in the chapter.

"**The producers have thought of a challenge for you guys!"**

_**It was a bad way to end the chapter, I admit to that. But I know that I'm rushing the story with the eliminations so I had to write this chapter. If it feels bland compared to other chapters it's because I really hated writing this one, it didn't feel right. Anyway, please review!**_

_**P.S I'm flying to England today and staying on holiday there for two weeks without internet, so this is going on hiatus until then, sorry guys. **_


	6. Chapter 6

**"****The producers have thought of a challenge for you guys!" **The voiceover declared again, as if saying it twice made the sentence have more of a dramatic effect than normal.

"Okay...what is it?" Ed asked carefully whilst sadly putting his wrench on the floor, suspicious of the new challenge. Quite honestly, he hadn't really had a good experience with any challenge, so why should this be any different?

**"****It is an obstacle course! There are four parts to it; two parts physical, two parts mental. And when I say mental, oh do I mean mental!" **The voiceover chuckled.

"When does this so called obstacle course start then?" Mustang asked.

**"****Go to the beach, and you will be shown where to start."**

"Fine." All three contestants and Winry replied walking over to the beach which was only a few metres away. On the beach there were three starting lines. Alphonse went to the one on the left, Ed walked to the centre starting line and Mustang was left with the one on the right.

"I'm gonna beat you, you ecological bastard!" Ed shouted at Mustang competitively. As the small teenager said this, Mustang started to smirk at him whilst Ed looked confused back at him.

"What're you smirking at?" Ed asked sceptically.

"You _do _realise what ecological means right?"

"Yeah! Wait, what?" Ed was confused with this question, making Mustang smirk even more.

"The word you're looking for is egotistical. Ecological means good for the environment. So with you calling me an ecological bastard, you're saying I'm a bastard who's good for the environment, correct?"

"..."

"Even if you meant that, you'd be wrong. I like to set stuff on fire. That isn't really that good for the environment, thus-"

"Shut up you egotistical bastard!"

"Ah, I see we're learning." Mustang nodded at the seething boy. "Good, good."

**"****Anyway, ready to start?"** The voiceover interrupted before a fight would break out. All three of the competitors nodded. **"Three, two one and BEGIN!"**

"Good luck you guys!" Winry shouted to them whilst waving. Ed looked at her quickly, waved and ran off to start before either of them realised what had happened.

ALPHONSE'S POV

As soon as voiceover-san told us to start, I began to run as fast as I could down the marked track, but I soon noticed a problem. Tell me, can you imagine how hard it is for a suit of armour to run in sand? It is really hard, believe me. So at the beginning of the race, Mustang-san and brother had the upper advantage; I'd just have to catch up later on.

I carried on running down the track which by now had split up from the other two completely. I was on my own, now in a deep forest. I never noticed this forest before, but it's different from our campsite forest. After a couple of minutes of wondering how another forest this dense could be next to a beach I came up to a cliff. About halfway across there was a metal pole.

"Great, how am I meant to cross this?" I muttered, slightly disgruntled at this obstacle. Then I had a memory of when brother and I were at a park and they had-

"Monkey bars! This is just like monkey bars, except there's only one handle and it's about five metres away from me." I spoke to myself. I ran back a few big steps, then taking in an unnecessary intake of breath, I ran and jumped off the cliff whilst stretching my arms out towards the bar. One of the advantages of this body is that I have long arms, so I managed to grab the bar with ease. Swinging on the bar back and forth, I looked at the ground I had to jump on. It was a rocky terrain, which meant I could jump onto it without getting stuck.

I jumped down and landed to the floor and hit it with the loudest thump I have ever heard. Looking at my left foot, I saw I had dented the sole of it. When I tried to stand on it I couldn't.

"Damnit. Now how am I meant to win this race?" I muttered. I stood up this time again, leaning on my right foot and I found I could walk. So I raced on like that, too busy focussing to walk to focus on the scenery around me. I did take a quick glance and saw I was surrounded by boulders. I noticed that sitting on one of these rocks was a strange black cloaked figure. I slowly walked up to it, confused.

"H-hello, I am Alphonse Elric, who are you?" I asked timidly. It looked up at me and I recognised it straight away.

"Bido? What on earth are you doing here?" I asked the strange creature confused. He only laughed at me and ignored my question.

"This is your second task. Tell me, what can you catch but not throw?" Bido cackled at me. Hmm. A riddle. That was a tough question. I couldn't really think of anything, so I answered as honestly as I could.

"You can catch a kitten but not throw a kitten. Who would ever want to throw a kitten?" I answered naively. When Bido started to laugh manically, I knew I got the answer wrong.

"The answer was a cold kid. But seeing as how you made my day, I'll let you pass." Before I could thank him, he had already vanished off. I continued on the path. Slowly the scenery was changing. As there were less and less rocks, more vividly green trees appeared in their place. Snakes and vines hung off these tress, and birds were dancing in the sky above my head. How could the scenery change so much on one island? I stopped to look at the beautiful scenery around me as I bent my foot back into position. Once I got it fixed, I looked around more. Purple and yellow flowers graced the floor whilst different insects wandered on the tree trunks. Shaking my head and focussing on the race I continued on my path.

I soon encountered another problem when my path was blocked by a waterfall. If you've been following the story so far, you would know I can't get my blood seal wet. As I wondered how to get around the glistening waterfall, I saw a small kitten sitting on the floor. Wait...

"Shao May, what the heck are you doing here?" I rushed over to the tiny panda and picked her up and cooped her into my hand. After she bit it a few times, she settled down and fell asleep in my hand. Normally I would've been awwing at this but I noticed she had a note attached to her. Taking it off, I opened and read it.

_I am a lost baby panda. Take me back to my home which is in this waterfall. Take me there getting me as least wet as possible._

I looked back up at the waterfall. Well, if I ran through it, I should be OK right? Shielding Shao May, I ran through the waterfall quickly. I could see the water crash onto my body and I could hear it pattering on my back. Yet I never felt the water wash away my blood seal. Sighing with relief I placed her into a small cot that was placed in the cave behind the waterfall and I walked quietly out. I saw Winry standing on her own, and then she looked at me and waved. I ran up to her, shouting.

"Hey! Hasn't anybody else got here yet?" I asked her, worrying about brother.

"Not yet. But for the next challenge we need all of you to be here." Winry replied. I sat on the floor and waited in silence for brother or Mustang-san to arrive.

EDWARD'S POV

I ran across the sand as fast as my legs could take me, which was thankfully faster than Mustang or Al. Not looking around and just looking and moving forwards I ran. Well, until I nearly ran off a cliff which had suddenly appeared. Maybe I should've paid more attention to where I was running.

"Where the _fuck _did a cliff come from?" I panted whilst stopping to catch my breath, happy I didn't run off. I now noticed properly for the first time that my path had been blocked by a cliff. When I looked up I saw a metal bar hanging in the centre of the hole. "If only I could use alchemy to make a bridge." I muttered, clapping my hands with false hope and to my surprise I saw an alchemic glow form from my hands as I transmuted the ground on both sides of the cliff to come together.

**"****This is the only task that you can use alchemy on Ed, trust me."**The voiceover whispered, scared of giving spoilers away. I nodded to the sky in recognition and ran down my new path, glad that I had an even bigger lead on the others. Looking around, I saw that by now, I was on my own and I couldn't see the others. Oh well. I ran ahead and made sure I didn't run off any cliffs this time. There were lots of rocks and boulders though. Because the sun was beating down on my auto mail like hell, I ran in the shade of the rocks. Yes, even boulders are taller than me. Damn.

On one of the rocks was this lizard wearing a cloak. I walked up to it and said "I'm Ed, who the hell are you?" The lizard thing took of its cloak and cackled "Ah, you don't remember me. My name is Bido and this is your second task." Bido told me.

"Well, what's the task?"

"Answer this riddle. What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?" Luckily for me, I had already heard this riddle from teacher and I remembered the answer as she beat me to a pulp when I didn't know it. The answer doesn't make much sense to me, but that could be because I suck at geography.

"A river" I replied proudly. He looked annoyed for a second then a smile crossed his face. "Congratulations. I won't have to kill you like I did your brother who got the answer to his riddle wrong. How fun it was to wash off his blood seal." Bido cackled manically. Instantly I flared up and smashed him into the nearest boulder.

"YOU DID WHAT YOU LIZARD BASTARD?" I screamed at him. How dare he hurt Alphonse! When I looked at him, his face was blue. I was choking him, and boy it felt good.

"It was...a joke! I promise..." By the time he said this, he had almost lost consciousness. I dropped him onto the floor and glared at him. "If you did hurt even...his hair on his armoured head, I will crush you." I kicked him in the face and ran on, determined to find Alphonse.

I was so lost in thought about finding Al that I didn't notice I was standing in front of a waterfall. Where the hell did that come from? Also there was that shrimp girl's cat here. A note was on the floor next to it. I picked it up and read it.

_I am a lost baby panda. Take me back to my home which is in this waterfall. Take me there getting me as least wet as possible._

"You're a panda? Wow, you're short." I snorted, but secretly glad I wasn't the only...runt...on this show. "I've had to admit I'm vertically challenged so many times today." I grumbled picking up the panda. Instantly it bit me, but I was holding it in my auto mail hand so it didn't hurt me. I shoved it into my coat pocket quickly without really caring for it and ran through the waterfall as fast as I could. Great, now I was sopping wet. After I remade my antenna I placed the panda in the cot which was conveniently placed in the cave and ran out the other side, delighted to see Alphonse sitting there alive and well but pissed off to see Mustang. How the hell did he beat me? But I ran up to Al to make sure he wasn't hurt. He also seemed relieved to see me too.

MUSTANG'S POV

I ran down the track, determined to beat Ed, it didn't really matter if I beat Alphonse or not. When I turned round the first corner I noticed that Winry was motioning me to come over to her. I walked over to her asking "What do you want Miss Rockbell?" She looked to the left and to the right and bent close to my ear. "If you follow me, I can show you a pathway which lets you go directly to the second task." I looked at her, doubting her motives. "Why are you helping me and not the others?" I asked.

"The producers want a conspiracy to happen and this was the biggest twist I could think of." She replied with a shrug. "Anyway follow me!" She started to walk back the way I ran. "Hey I just came that way!" I told her. She smiled at me. "Swim to that land over there." Winry pointed to a strip of land about 50 metres away from where we were standing. "Thanks." I smiled at her and jumped into the water and swam as fast as I could to the land.

When I arrived I saw Winry standing on the land with a note in her hand. I stared at her in disbelief. "What are you doing here? And how the hell did you beat me?" I asked her.

"I have a speedboat. Anyway, because Edo killed the...person who'd tell you the second task, I have to do it instead."

"Wait Fullmetal killed him? Wait. How did he overtake me?" I shouted at her and she gave me a sheepish look. "Turns out it was quicker to go the normal way. For this task, answer this riddle. When you feed me I live, but give me water and I die. What am I?"

I began to think. I remembered my training I had to become the Flame Alchemist-my sensei told me something like this before. "Fire." I answered. She smiled and nodded. "Yup, well done! Lucky you, you're right next to the third task, the others have to travel further. See ya!" She ran off, leaving me in front of a waterfall. On the floor was a cat which looked like the one Fullmetal wanted to find a while ago. And it had a note on its back. Taking it off, I read the note.

_I am a lost baby panda. Take me back to my home which is in this waterfall. Take me there getting me as least wet as possible._

"I thought you were a cat with your height. Runts are becoming more and more common." I smirked and hoping that somewhere Fullmetal could hear me.

To be honest, I couldn't care less about the well being of the panda. So I just picked it up from the very back of the neck where it couldn't bite me and carried it through the waterfall. It didn't like getting wet though as it started shrieking at me. I wasn't too happy either; even if I can't use alchemy water always makes me feel useless. Placing the soaking panda in the cot I ran my hands through my hair until it was dry and spiky like before. When this was done I walked out of the cave behind the waterfall and I found Al sitting on the floor and Winry waiting there.

"Oh hey Mustang-san!" Alphonse called to me. He sounded worried. I walked over to him. "Hey Al. You must be pretty fast to beat me." I told him.

"Thanks. Anyway, have you seen brother yet? I'm nervous." He told me. I shook my head but said "I haven't seen him, but apparently he killed someone on his way over here." Alphonse face palmed muttering "Brother, you idiot." Just then Ed walked out of the cave.

NORMAL POV

"Now that you're here, I'll tell you your last challenge. I will rank who comes first second and last. You have two minutes to make up your own lyrics to the FUN song (from Spongebob) which apply to you. And, go!" Winry declared.

All of the contestants looked surprised, but concentrated nonetheless. When the two minutes were up, Winry said "Time's up! Alphonse you go first!"

"Um, alright:

_F is for following my older brother_

_U is for undying love of cats_

_N is for not being mean to anyone, who would ever want that?_

It was hard making it rhyme." They all clapped, impressed by his lyrics. "Nicely done Al. Your go Ed." Winry told Ed. Ed, looking embarrassed sang:

"_F is for fighting all of the homunculus_

_U is for under 5 foot 7_

_N is for not taking care of my auto mail, so Winry beats me down to 4 foot 11._

I hate admitting I'm short."

"Damn straight about the last part." Winry said whilst they all clapped. "Ok, Mustang-san time to hear yours."

"Fine.

_F is for flames which come out my fingertips_

_U is for ultra sexy hair_

_N is for no one knowing about Riza and me, it started at a military fair_.

Again, it was hard making it rhyme."

"I totally knew you guys were together!" Winry squealed. As she was going to say the winner, the voiceover cut in.

"**That's all we have time for! Next time we'll find out who the winner is! If you want to vote, press the red button or leave a review!"**

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_**Finally back from the UK! Yes, this chapter was very long, but you guys deserve it for being awesome! Thank you so, so much to my regular reviewers and to Charlesworthy III for teaching me about the word egotistical! Also, you guys vote who's FUN song comes in what place, I'm counting on you all!**_

_**Fma crusher xx**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Please please vote on who wrote the best FUN song! I only have 3 votes now, I need some more to carry on with the story! With that in mind, please enjoy an outtakes chapter!**

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"Due to the fact that we need more votes, this episode is going to look back on a few outtakes from Fullmetal Alchemist Celebrity Island that we couldn't fit in the show!" Winry told the viewers at home whilst sitting in a studio. "Ok, here's the first one. And roll!"

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"I'm totally going to win against you colonel!" Ed shouted to Mustang. Him, Mustang and Hoenheim were sitting in a circle whilst Al and Izumi were watching the fight between the three of them.

"Not if I beat you first Ed." Hoenheim replied. "I've lived for quite a long time so I've had the chance to be marooned on an island before."

"What both of you are forgetting is that I'm going to beat both of you! I'm the Flame Alchemist!" Roy declared.

"Er, Mustang. Not sure if you were listening before, but WE CAN'T USE ALCHEMY HERE YOU MORONIC COLONEL!" Ed shouted at him. It was clear Ed was still pissed off at Father for tricking all of them.

"Calm down you pipsqueak." Mustang muttered. Al audibly sighed as Ed began to rant "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT I HAVE TO USE A SPOON LIKE A LEVER TO EAT OFF IT!" Ed shouted.

"Your ability to make up new short rants never ceases to amaze me." Hoenheim said almost in awe to his son. Glaring at his father Ed snapped "Shut up Beardy." Hoenheim looked quite offended by this comment whilst Mustang snickered at it.

"Anyway, I'm going to win and claim the grand prize. Wait...what is the grand prize?" Mustang asked to no one in particular.

The voiceover decided to interrupt the discussion now **"The winner chooses who cannot do alchemy out of the five of you ever again."**

"Sweet! You're going to lose the title 'Flame Alchemist' and never be Führer! Hehehe, I like crushing people's dreams." Ed told Mustang. Mustang simply smirked in response. "And you Ed, will no longer be the people's alchemist or the Fullmetal alchemist, you won't have access to military information and won't find the Philosophers Stone so Alphonse will be stuck in armour forever. Do you honestly want to make a rival out of me Fullmetal?"

Ed looked clueless for a second then decided to shut up for the sake of his brother. "Now you know what it's like to have your dreams crushed." Mustang finished triumphantly. Hoenheim made an interjection again. "But I don't want anybody here to lose their gate and not be able to do alchemy." Ed snorted at the old man. "Oh please, I bet you go out first, don't even bother getting worked up about it."

"Damnit I'm going to win. All of you men are weaklings!" Now Izumi joined in, giving the men death glares. "Does anyone care to disagree?" She was crackling her knuckles in a quite threatening way. When nobody said anything in denial to her statement she smiled. "Good. Now you can all SHUT THE HELL UP!" Because the contestants were graced with brains, they all shut up.

* * *

"That clip was from before they had to do their first challenge and before I was the show's host! Moving right along, here is the next outtake. After this clip, we have an interview with Izumi!" Winry said quickly.

* * *

"I'll show that Mustang." Ed grumbled to himself quietly as he snuck out of the chimpanzee sleeping area holding a caterpillar. "I wonder how much of a girl he'll scream like when I put this on his lip." Ed chuckled quietly. He slowly moved to the campsite whilst being careful not to rustle any leaves so as not to wake them up. Finally he found where Mustang was sleeping. Checking that the caterpillar was still alive, he placed it very gently onto Mustangs upper lip. As Mustang stirred in his sleep, Ed rushed to hide behind the nearest tree he could find to watch the fun unfold.

"Hmm, Riza what's going on? And what are you doing to my lip?" Mustang mumbled in his sleep. Then he woke up and saw the caterpillar on his lip. In the darkness, the caterpillar was the same colour as Mustang's hair. "Since when did I have a moustache?" Mustang asked whilst still half asleep. Ed was laughing quietly at Mustang's utter stupidity. "Hey it's moving! Oh, it's a caterpillar. For a second I thought you were my moustache. Hey wait, stay there for a second. I think I look quite sexy with this new moustache; I wanna see how it looks. Hmm, I'll start growing a moustache from now on. It looks awesome on me"

Ed didn't know whether to laugh or to feel disgusted by that idea, so he just face palmed and walked back to the chimpanzee area, annoyed that he gave Mustang the idea that he should have a moustache. "Even if it looks funny, how bad could it possibly be if he had a moustache like that?" Ed asked before he fell asleep.

* * *

"I wonder what it will look like." Winry was back on the screen and sitting next to her was Izumi. "Anyway, here is Izumi. Tell us Izumi, were you proud of what place you came in?" Izumi scowled "Of course I'm not! I was in it to win, and now that I came fourth I'm annoyed. Besides, who would force someone to eat a fluffy _rat _as a challenge?"

Winry gulped and read the next question off her list. "Umm, Ok. Who do you think is going to win between Ed, Mustang-san and Al?" Izumi thought about it for a second and then replied "Something tells me that Alphonse is going to win-he's not caught up in rivalry so he has a chance. But if he loses, I'd say my other idiotic student would win-he is quite strong and smart."

"That's interesting to hear. Now I have a question here that the producers want to know-Pirates or Ninjas?"

"Excuse me?"

"The producers want to know if you prefer Pirates or Ninjas." Winry explained. Still looking confused, Izumi replied "Oh, I'd pick Ninja. But the proper ninjas who wear black and all of that stuff."

"Any reasoning to that answer?"

"Not really, no."

"Alright then. The final question I have for you is if you won, who's alchemic power would you have taken away?"

"Ah, I already thought of this. Colonel Mustang as he tried to cheat in the fish contest and when I was having a panic attack he was the only one who didn't help me."

"Good to know. Anyway, it's been a pleasure talking to you. Bye!" Izumi walked off the set. "Our next clip is of Al trying to bring a tiger cub back to the camp."

* * *

"Aww come on guys! Look into its little eyes and say you don't want it here." Alphonse told the group. Mustang proceeded to walk up to the little tiger cub, looked it in the eyes and said "I don't want you here, you'll be a pest." It only blinked in reply.

"Mustang-san how could you be so cruel?" Alphonse said in shock whilst stroking the cub. "By the time we leave the island it'll still be a cub. Besides I've already named it."

"So what, you name all the strays you pick up Al." Ed sighed. It must be tough on him to keep telling Al to stop picking up cats.

"But I named it in honour of Mustang's group*. It's called Spitfire!" Alphonse stated whilst holding Spitfire.

"That's sweet Al, but we can't keep a tiger cub here. Besides it has a mother, they should be together." Ed said sadly to the younger boy. Mustang noticed this and looked at him for a second and then understood why he sounded sad.

Al shook his head. "But it has no mother, brother. I found it all by itself shivering." Ed now couldn't participate in the argument if it was just like them, abandoned on its own.

"Let's keep it and train it!" Izumi joined in, staying on Al's side. Mustang looked confused. "Why would you want to train that runt of a tiger?" She evil grinned. "I can make bite you when you annoy me." Mustang, Ed and Al sweat dropped.

"Alphonse, you're a relatively smart boy. You know it's not rational to keep a tiger here, regardless of how big it is." Mustang told the boy for once in a gentle manner. He took the cub from Alphonse's arms and walked into the forest. "Let me take it back." Sadly, Alphonse knew he was beaten. He nodded slowly and watched as the tiger cub was taken away. Alphonse started to make crying noises which caused his brother to laugh.

"Al, you honestly think that's going to work?" Ed laughed. Al looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"Please, I'm your older brother. I can tell when you're pretending to cry."

"...Meanie."

* * *

"Poor Al, he can't let go of strays. There's time for one last clip. Here it is!" Winry said.

* * *

Al and Mustang were making a fire waiting for Ed to return. He stumbled back to the camp carrying a bucket of water. His face had a pinkish red tinge to it and if you looked closely, part of his lip was smudged pink.

"Hey brother! What took you so long?" Alphonse asked, secretly holding back a laugh at Ed's face.

"Um, it took a long time to find the pure water." Ed replied quickly, placing the water near the fire.

"But why is your face so red from carrying a bucket of water?" Mustang asked, noting the pink smudge on the teenager's lip. "Because you bastard, a metal bucket filled with water can get heavy when you have to carry it for twenty minutes." Ed replied.

"But brother, if your face is red why aren't you panting from the long walk?" Ed gave his brother a glare.

"What is this, twenty questions? Just be happy I brought the water here." He lied down on the floor and turned away from the two amused people behind him.

"Fullmetal, I just noticed, you've got something on your lip." Mustang smirked. Ed quickly rubbed his lip with his white glove and saw that some pink rubbed onto the glove. Ed began to stammer whilst blushing even more. "I-um-you see, how did that even get there in the first place?"

Alphonse, enjoying every minute of this said "Do you know where Winry is? I haven't seen her for a while." As expected, Ed's face now resembled a tomato in colour. "How am I meant to know where she is?"

Alphonse and Mustang both laughed at the boy's face. Alphonse told Ed gently "It's ok if you were with Winry I don't mind." Ed looked at his younger brother and grumbled "What gives you the idea I was with her?"

"Hmm, let's see: When you first got here you were blushing; now your face is bright red. You had a smudge of pink lip gloss on your lips. You told us you'd bring resources within half an hour, but you only bought water." Mustang counted off his fingers whilst laughing at the teen. Ed sighed and said "Yes I was with Winry, happy now?" Mustang and Al looked at each other and laughed. There was silence for a few seconds before Mustang said "What was it like Fullmetal?"

"For the gate's sake shut up!"

* * *

"W-why did you show them that?" Winry shouted to someone off screen whilst her face was bright red. "Anyway, that's all we have time for, bye bye! Remember to vote for the song, the quicker you vote, the quicker the next episode comes out!"

***What Al means is that all of Mustang's group are named after military devices, so he named the tiger after one also. **

**Hope you enjoyed the bloopers! I just had to include some EdWin in there ^-^! **

**Fma crusher xx**


	8. Chapter 8

"Alright so all the votes are in; we can finally tell you the results, boys." Winry told the three contestants much to their relief. They were all sitting in the floor of a log cabin. In it were two beds (a bunk bed-Ed and Mustang fought over the top bunk, in the end Mustang won the fight), a bathroom and a basic lounge with a small tv (the only channel that was on it was the weather channel with Alex Armstrong-no doubt that they were never going to use the tv). It was a very simple log cabin, and they all liked it-it had a homey feeling to it.

"Thank god." Ed sighed in a bored voice yet sounding relieved at the same time. "It's been more than a week, I've been bored shitless just by hanging around here the whole time. Now stuff'll happen again!"

"Ok, so who came last place?" Mustang asked with a sound of hysteria in his voice, mostly because he had been bored this whole time but couldn't set stuff on fire to release his tension.

"The contestant who came third place is Alphonse." Winry told them. Al hung his head and started to sniff. "But...I thought it was good." Ed was rubbing his brother's back. "It's ok brother. It was just a mini-challenge, don't worry."

"Al, you now get two points, meaning you have two points total." Winry said as a consolation to the younger Elric brother. That stopped him from moping.

"And the winner of the FUN song challenge is Mustang-san!" Mustang got on his feet and whooped. "Oh yeah baby! It's totally because of the bit about Riza and me!" Ed smirked at his commanding officer and quipped "Riza'll be pissed that you blew the secret." Laughing, he watched as Mustang slowly sat on the floor, curled himself into a ball and started mumbling about his last dying will and testament.

"Ed you now have five points in total so far; Mustang has five points as well." Winry calculated (Ed and Mustang got the same amount of points for this challenge). "Why don't we play a game of truth or dare you guys? Come on!"

"Eh, no. There are only three men, one girl and it's a child's game. Why should I want to?" Ed muttered whilst twirling his antenna around his finger. Alphonse leant in and whispered something to his older brother which made Ed's face go bright red.

"Ok, I don't mind playing. Besides, it reminds me of when we used to play games in Risembool." Ed abruptly changed his mind. Al nodded and Mustang sighed "Alright, fine."

"Yay! I'll start then!" Winry looked at the other three. "Umm, Al, truth or dare?"

"I pick truth."

"Why do you love cats so much?" Winry asked, making the younger brother think.

"Umm, I guess it's because they're so soft and sweet and in a way venerable so I want to protect them." Alphonse replied. Winry awwed at this while Mustang and Ed rolled their eyes.

"My turn, my turn! Mustang-san, truth or dare?"

"Dare. I can handle anything you throw at me Alphonse!" Mustang gloated. Alphonse only did an evil laugh and muttered "We'll see about that." as he leant in to tell Mustang his dare.

After staring at Al with evil eyes, Mustang said "My flame alchemy is...useless, ju-ju-just like m-me. I am not cool and I am a terrible colonel. Fullmetal, you know-you,you-you know that I-I-I-I really admire you?" Mustang said in a rush and it looked like he was almost in pain from saying it. Ed at first said "Damn straight you should admire me. Wait...Al what did you ask him to do?" Mustang's eyes went wide and looked like he was about to cry whilst Al began to evil laugh again. "Oh it's just a little secret between us two."

"He blackmailed me. It was either he tells my secret or I say that." Mustang said with his eyes still wide from the shock of Al being surprisingly menacing.

"Moving right along then, Fullmetal, Truth or Dare?" Ed snorted. "Truth. I won't let you blackmail me to do stuff I don't want to do."

"Do you have a crush on Miss Rockbell here?" Winry began to blush furiously and at a fast rate, exactly at the same rate as Ed. Ed, calming down then smirked and replied "My feelings romantically for Winry are the same as Al's feelings for the shrimp princess-"

"Brother!" Al said, flustered.

"-Therefore, only I and Al know the answer to that question." Ed replied triumphantly. In all honesty, Ed didn't know Al's feelings for Mei so only Al could imagine his answer.

"Alright, Winry, truth or dare?"

"Dare." Ed grinned evily with a spark in his eye.

"I dare you to GO AWAY! You've been here for one week and it's pissing me off! Leave!" Ed shouted whilst pointing to the door. Winry glared at the shrimp.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU IDIOT! I'VE BEEN HELPING YOU GUYS DO STUFF SO YOU DIDN'T GET BORED!"

"DAMN AS HELL WISH YOU DIDN'T! BECAUSE OF YOU, THESE TWO BRAINLESS IDIOTS THINK WE'RE GOING OUT OR SOMETHING WITH YOU CONSTANTLY HANGING AROUND!"

"Wait...WHAT? WHY DON'T THEY UNDERSTAND WE'RE JUST FRIENDS?"

"I DON'T KNOW, BUT JUST LEAVE!" Ed screamed. Puffing, Winry turned around and left the cabin without another word, shutting the door with a slam behind her, obviously pissed off.

"Thank the gate she's gone now." Ed sighed, lying down on his bed.

"Wait...so you two aren't going out?" Mustang said disappointedly. Ed nodded. "What, you honestly think I'd date her? She nags me way too much and annoys me."

"So why were you blushing with what Al told you before the game? What _did _Al tell you before the game?"

"Oh, he told me that it could be my chance to get rid of her. I wasn't blushing; I was being giddy on the inside and plotting how to get rid of her." Ed replied simply. Mustang nodded slowly. "Right. Well, I'm tired. Night." Mustang climbed up onto the top bunk and fell asleep. When he was fast asleep, Ed whispered to Al.

"Hey Al?"

"Yes brother?"

"You don't have a crush on Mei, do you?"

"..."

"Crap."

* * *

The next morning, Ed and Mustang woke up and looked to see that Winry was in the room waiting for them to wake up. When she saw they were awake, she sighed.

"Thank goodness, you've been asleep for ages."

"How long have you been standing over us?" Mustang asked groggily whilst rubbing his eyes.

"Oh for about twenty minutes now. It's weird to see you both sleep." Winry replied.

"You do realise that it's seven in the _morning, _right?" Ed moaned, pulling on a t-shirt. She only tutted as a response.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. You guys have a challenge, and if you lose this challenge I'm afraid you will be leaving this competition. Hurry _up_ you guys!" They all walked out of the log cabin and walked into a clearing in the forest. With the race, they had change location and were now staying in the log cabin on the other side of the island.

As they walked to the clearing, they noticed that there was a bear and two cubs next to her. They all stared at the beast. While looking at the bear, Ed and Al couldn't help but think of their teacher's story of when she stayed at Briggs for a month. They both gulped.

"Right. The challenge is that you have to take this mother's cubs away from her." Winry read off her cue card. "Good luck with that." She snorted.

"**But if you hurt the mother in any way, you will be eliminated from this competition." **The voiceover added. Ed and Mustang sighed.

"Ok, let's start on the count of three." Ed told to Mustang and Al. They both nodded.

"Three, two one and start!" Ed said quickly whilst running off to start early.

MUSTANG'S POV

As expected, Fullmetal had to make an idiot of himself from the start by trying to creep up on the bear. Due to my training in the military, I knew that the only way you could take the cubs from it was by taking it whilst it was distracted. Otherwise, the bear would get angry and snap at you-I guess that's called animal instincts.

I walked up slowly to where one of the cubs was. As Fullmetal began to pick it up, the bigger bear turned around and started to roar at him. Smirking, I found my perfect chance to pick up the first cub and sneak back quietly to the standing area. It kept crying at me so I just put it on the floor next to my feet. I turned away from the two Elric brothers. I wanted it to be a surprise as to who would win.

ED'S POV

Right, no matter what I had two goals. One: to get a cub and Two: to sabotage any attempts that Mustang had to get one. I ran around to the back of the mother cub and tried to pick up one of the cubs when right then it decided to cry and it's mother turned around and roared at me. Startled, I stared in disbelief as Mustang used this chance to take one of the cubs whilst the mother was distracted. I actually helped that bastard-that really pissed me off. Right then Al came up to me and whispered "If you would like, I can distract the mother whilst you grab the last cub. It's ok, you want to win more than me. I don't want to stay in, I'd have no chance against Mustang." I stared at Al.

"But Al-"

"Face it brother, I know you want to win so I won't get in your way." Before I had a chance to thank him he already jumped in front of the mother bear and started to shout gibberish at it whilst I grabbed the cub quietly and took it to where Mustang was standing. I'd have to thank l so much for his selflessness later.

AL'S POV

It would be absolutely easy for me to win this-we all know how good I am with cats, so cubs would be not much more difficult. As I was thinking this, I looked at brother and saw the shine in his eyes. When we were younger, he got that look when he would almost _need _to complete a task. I sighed.

Brother had to win because his pride wouldn't let him lose against Mustang. I didn't want to win; I don't want to take anybody's gate away. I knew I had to not compete and help brother so he could win. I had to have faith in him.

Observing for a minute, I saw Mustang's technique on how he got the cub and I knew how I could help brother. I walked up to him and said "If you would like, I can distract the mother whilst you grab the last cub. It's ok, you want to win more than me. I don't want to stay in, I'd have no chance against Mustang." I saw a look of sadness in his eye, but I saw understanding in his eyes.

"But Al-" he began.

"Face it brother, I know you want to win so I won't get in your way." I jumped at the bear and distracted it whilst I saw brother take the cub. Once he had got it, I moved back to the clearing.

NORMAL POV

"Alright, so Mustang-san you got the first cub. You can turn around now Mustang-san." Winry told him. He turned around and saw that Ed had the second cub and he smiled. "And Ed, because of Al's sacrifice you are through to the finals." Ed looked at his suit of armour for a brother.

"Why did you do that Al?"Ed asked.

"Because, you need to be here. I don't. I'll wait for you." Alphonse replied simply. He turned to Winry. "So, I guess I'll be going now?" She nodded sadly. Al ruffled his brother's head and said "Don't be stupid and try your best honestly. Mustang-san, make sure he isn't stupid." Mustang nodded without saying anything and understood.-Al reminded him of how Riza was with himself.

"Bye Winry!" Al waved as a purple light transported him out of the competition.

"So, it's just us two left in, huh? Somehow I guessed it would be us." Mustang commented, offering his left hand to the boy so they could shake their flesh hands. Ed smirked and tapped his palm and flicked it.

"May the best alchemist win." Ed replied, full of determination.

**"****Oh my, the finals already? Who will win Fullmetal Alchemist Celebrity Island? What challenges await the final two? Stay tuned!" **The voiceover said melodramatically.

* * *

**Yeah, my reason for delay is because I rewrote this like two times to try and get it right, but I think it's still terrible! Updates should be around every 4-6 days now. Please review, I don't know if I'm doing well enough of a job to reach your standards.**

**Fma crusher xx**


	9. Chapter 9

"Right...well what do you think the last challenge will be bastard?" Ed asked lazily to the colonel whilst lying down on his bed, staring at the bed above him.

"Don't know, don't care. Either way I'll win." Mustang loftily replied.

"HEY DON'T RULE ME OUT! I HAVE A BETTER CHANCE THAN YOU! I'M GOING TO WIN!"

"Whatever." There was more silence whilst they glared at each other. Ed smirked.

"This may sound childish but I don't care. Whoever wins this staring contest wins the competition; I bet you." Ed told Mustang who got down from his bed, went onto Ed's bed and stared him in the eye.

"That is extremely stupid but fine."

"Three, two one and go!"

Surprisingly each of them lasted for over a minute from just staring at each other. There was a loud crash of the door to the cabin opening which made both of them blink.

"DAMNIT WINRY WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!" Ed shouted whilst rubbing his tired eyes.

"I just came to tell you it's time for the final challenge." Winry said, hesitating at Ed's shouting and Mustang's death glare. "Anyway, come outside and you'll see the challenge."

Mustang and Ed both jumped off the bed and ran outside to see Father standing next to two tall, thin poles.

"What are you doing here?" Mustang asked. "You're just the voice-over for this show."

"**I wanted to make a cameo in the final challenge."**Father said back, his voice-over voice still being used.

"Hey Father. I warned you about what would happen in the final two-we both got the same amount of points. Looks like your logic did have a flaw in it after all." Ed grinned.

"**...Shut up!"**

"Now, now, calm down you two. Here's the final challenge. As you should be able to see, there are two poles behind us. Now you're probably wondering what the poles are here for so let me tell you-"

"Nope, I already know. Me and the bastard colonel have to see who can balance on those poles the longest. The person who stays on their pole the longest wins this competition." Ed filled in.

"Damnit Ed, I have a job you know-don't steal it from me. Just jump onto the damn poles you too." Winry grumbled. The poles were made of steel so they should be sturdy. They stood about five feet tall so whilst it took Mustang a few seconds to get onto his pole. It was hard for him to get on properly as the pole was _just _wide enough for him to fit both his feet onto it. Meanwhile, Ed took slightly longer to climb onto his pole. After about a minute of struggling and cursing under his breath, he managed to comfortably get onto his pole.

"Why'd it take you so long Fullmetal? I thought that you might have actually grown taller by now." Mustang smirked.

"Who's too small to use a telephone because my ear's too small to fit on the speaker." Ed mumbled back. They both turned to look down at Winry after standing on their poles, clueless, for a couple of minutes.

"So...now what?" Ed and Mustang asked in unison. Winry shrugged. "According to the cue card you just stay there until one of you falls off. But you can try to knock the other person off." Instantly at the same time they both flailed their arms madly to the other person, but neither of them could reach the other one.

"Stop copying me Mustang." Ed said, making Mustang frown.

"Not's my fault." As soon as he said that, he got an idea. He grinned at Ed and started blowing in Ed's direction.

"...What the hell are you doing moron?"

"Easy. Because of your small size if I blow in your direction the wind should make you fall off." Mustang replied eagerly. "Now don't move Fullmetal. This could take a few minutes." He continued to blowing on Ed until Ed turned to him and proceeded to spit at the colonel.

"Ed, I know you hate the colonel but there's no need to do that!" Winry shouted.

"It's alright Winry. If I get water onto him, it'll make him useless. Isn't that right Colonel?" Ed shouted over to Mustang.

"**Ed...That logic works only when Mustang has his ignition gloves on." **The voiceover reminded him.

"Oh I know that. But there's a chance that water will make him permanently useless-not that he isn't already."

"I'M NOT USELESS FULLMETAL!"

"AND I'M NOT SHORT COLONEL!"

An awkward silence fell over the group as they both just stood on their poles. Ed nearly lost his footing once whilst adjusting his weight from foot to foot, but apart from then, nothing else had happened.

"Right, this is damn boring." Ed and Winry said at the same time after ten minutes of silence."Ooh, I know how to make this interesting. Voice-over-san, come over here." Winry leaned in to whisper something to Father who nodded in agreement. Winry walked over to Ed's pole and Father walked over to Mustang's pole. At the same time they shook the poles. Instantly the two alchemists began to lose their footing and Ed fell off. He had to cling onto the pole with just his hands on the top whilst Mustang was crouching on his, grabbing to the pole with his feet and hands.

"Hey what do you think you're doing Winry?" Ed shouted, clinging onto his pole now with his feet wrapped around it.

"Making the competition more interesting." She replied happily.

"I thought these poles were made of steel, aren't they meant to be sturdy?" Mustang shouted down to the other two.

"Steel is, we just didn't put them into the ground sturdily." Winry shouted back, shaking Ed's pole a bit more. Father copied her whilst shouting **"I've missed being evil! It feels good!" **Nobody replied to Father.

After a couple minutes, Winry and Father were still shaking them as hard as they could when finally, at last, one of them lost their grip on the pole and fell to the forest clearing floor with a loud thump. Winry and Father stopped shaking the poles to check up on the runner up of Fullmetal Alchemist Celebrity Island.

The winner of Fullmetal Alchemist Celebrity Island meanwhile stared at the other one in silence for a few seconds before saying "I told you I'd win!"

**Ok, this chapter is short because this is part one of the finale. Part two will be up soon. I'm sorry I keep torturing you guys with cliff-hangers, but I promise you the winner will be revealed in the next sentence of FACI.**

**With much love,**

**Fma crusher xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**It's my birthday today! What's that, you don't care? Well, here's the story instead ^^**

"I told you I'd win!"

Mustang grumbled, rubbing his back. He looked at the boy who was gleefully shouting "I beat you bastard! I won! Oh yeah! Take that you moronic colonel!"

"Well, that hurt, falling five feet and landing on your back." Mustang commented, rubbing his back. Ed jumped down off his pole and landed on his feet. "Well, I said the best man would win." Mustang once again offered his left hand to the boy. Ed looked at it for a second before accepting it.

"Hey, you gave the wrong hand you know." Ed said once they stopped shaking hands.

"I know. If I did it with my right hand, it would be crushed by your auto mail." Ed laughed and grinned at the older man.  
"Yay Ed you won! Congrats!" Winry cheered, giving him a trophy that appeared out of nowhere. On the golden cup were the words "Fullmetal Alchemist Celebrity Island Winner". He took it and posed with it into the camera lens. Father then reminded him of Ed's prize.

"So Edward Elric, whose Alchemic ability are you going to take away? Hoenheim's? Your teacher's? Or maybe Mustang's here." Finally Father no longer had to do the voice-over voice and his voice was returned to normal. There was silence for a minute before Ed nodded to himself and smiled.

"Hey Father, you're evil right?"

"_Of course I am_! Why do you ask?"

"Well you wouldn't mind if I altered the rules then, in the spirit of being evil."

"Go right ahead then! It's all for the greater good of evilness!" Ed leant in and whispered something to Father who looked annoyed after hearing what he had to say.

"That's not being evil. But if that's what you honestly want to do, fine." Father raised his hand into the air and there was a beam of purple light, and suddenly Alphonse was standing where the beam of light was.

"Brother, what's going on?" Al asked hesitantly. "Oh, hello Mustang-san." He said once he saw the colonel was there, and said colonel nodded back, wondering what was going on.

"Well, we have a situation Alphonse. Your brother wants to take away his _own _alchemic powers and with that give you your body back and him his arm." Father filled in Al on what was happening.

"Brother! We promised that we wouldn't use self-sacrifice to get our bodies back!" Alphonse sounded distressed at his brother's decision.

"This could be the only opportunity we have to fix things Al. It's not like I'm giving up limbs again, I just won't be able to do alchemy again."

"Edward." Both of the boys turned to look at Mustang, who now had his fists clenched. "I don't want to see you suffer anymore. If it's for the sake of restoring your bodies...take away my alchemy instead."

"I can't do that for two reasons." Ed shot back. "One, if I took your alchemy, that's all that would happen, as it would be following the rules. Two, if you don't be a state alchemist anymore, you'll wind up on the streets, it's all your good at." Ed smirked at Mustang.

"Brother..."

"Look Al, I'm doing this because I want to. I'll be regretting it in the future if I don't do it now." Ed nodded to his younger brother and a small smile appeared on his face. "You'll be human again." Ed turned to face Father.

"Alright, take me to the Gate of Truth." There was a beam of purple light and Edward was transported to the Gate of Truth.

AT THE GATE OF TRUTH

"So, Edward Elric, what will you be giving me this time for your brother's body?" The truth cackled to Ed. Ed smiled and pointed behind him, where his gate was currently located.

"You can have my gate you bastard."

"You won't be able to do alchemy again."

"I know and I don't care. Now hurry up and give me back Alphonse's human body and my arm before I have to beat it out of you." The truth moved out of the way and Alphonse was sitting there.

"Al..." Ed whispered, taking in his brother's face, the face he hadn't seen in so long. He offered his younger brother his red coat, and Alphonse accepted it, putting it on. When Al stood up, Ed grinned at his brother but then a scowl came on his face quickly, but he tried to hide it.

"What is it brother?" Alphonse asked frailly.

"You're...taller than me." Ed mumbled but then he slung an arm around Al's neck. "Let's go back to our world." Together, they were both zapped by the strange purple light and were taken back to the mysterious island.

FULLMETAL CELEBRITY ISLAND

"Hey, you're back!" Winry cried and hugged Al tightly as soon as he was zapped back. Looking scared for a second, he hugged back Winry. "It's been so long since I've been able to feel...it's really strange." Alphonse murmured, looking at his frail hand.

"We should be getting back home so Al can rest and can have some apple pie." Ed grinned, ripping out his auto mail arm melodramatically and removing the metal plating. His arm then shot out and Ed moved it for a bit before putting it back down.

"You couldn't have been more careful with that auto mail arm? That was my life's masterpiece! Thank goodness I still have the blueprints." Winry muttered. Together, the Risembool Trio went up to Mustang.

"It was a good competition bastard, I'll admit to that." Ed commented. Mustang only smiled back. "I'll admit it was entertaining." Mustang then offered his hand out to Alphonse, who shook it carefully.

"It's so weird to feel the tingling sense of human flesh meeting flesh." Alphonse pulled his hand back, still not used to feeling of well, feeling.

"So this is what your human body is like..." Mustang just stared at Alphonse for a few seconds before sneering "And it appears that you're taller than your older brother."

"Oh shut up." Ed grumbled. Winry sighed at the older brother and hugged him and Al again. "We should be going back home to Risembool, I'm sure Alphonse needs to rest." Winry told the group. "And you promised us apple pie Winry!" They both shouted at the same time. "And for apple pie." Winry laughed. "Father, transport us back to Risembool."

Before Father did so, he shouted "You better make it for the after party you guys!"  
"The wha-" Ed started to say before they were transported back home.

**Why is my audience psychic as to who would win?**

**I will accept any rotten foods thrown at me for this awfully sappy chapter, however on a spur of the moment I have decided that I shall be writing in one last chapter-the after party of this fiasco! Again, sorry for the wait for a disappointing chapter. R&R as a birthday present to me? :D**

**Fma crusher xx**


	11. Finale

"Ed, are you ready yet? Me and Al are waiting for you!" Winry called up to Edward. It was a month after the competition was over and it was time for the after party. Winry was wearing a pale blue silky dress which went down to her knees and Alphonse was wearing a simple black tuxedo. They were going to be attending the Fullmetal Alchemist Celebrity Island After Party and Father was going to zap them to the island in a matter of seconds.

"Yeah yeah, let me just finish sorting out my hair." Edward walked down the stairs and trying to put his hair into a ponytail at the same time. He was dressed identically to Alphonse, except his tie was red while Alphonse's was silver. As Edward stood where Winry and Al were waiting for him they were all zapped by the purple light to the island for the final time.

* * *

"I'm so glad you could make it to the after party!" Father came up to them and shook their hands in an unusually friendly manner.

"Even if we couldn't make it you'd still zap us here anyway. And why are you acting so nice? Aren't you meant to be evil?" Edward asked suspiciously.

"I used to be evil, but now I've seen the light and will change my ways! If you will excuse me, I need to get everyone organized. Go to the stage please." Father replied in a pleasant tone.

Just then did they look at their surroundings. They were on the beach where they did their first challenge with the fish. A bar with glowing multi-coloured fairy lights was at the side and on the centre of the beach was a stage, which was a bit hard to see because it was turning dark. A buffet table and smaller tables were gathered near the side of the beach. Father meanwhile was on the stage and tapping the microphone. "Attention, attention. Can everybody take their seats now please? All participants of F.A.C.I and its host please come up onto the stage." As Edward, Alphonse and Winry made their way up they saw Mustang and Izumi walking up the stage. Mustang was in a tuxedo without a tie and Izumi had a silk black dress on.

They sat down on the seats of the stage and Edward asked Father "Where's Hoenheim? He should also be here."

"Well, how do I put it…he died. Anyway, let's start!" Father cheerfully changed the subject quickly. "Firstly, the people sitting in the audience will ask a couple of questions, ok? Alright, let's start with you…A dressed up palm tree? Oh it's Envy. What's your question?" Envy scowled at being called a palm tree. "Yo, runt. If you and Winry aren't dating what was with the clip from episode 7 _(chapter 7)_?" Ed and Winry just stared at him.

"Well, er…" Winry stuttered.

"It wasn't what you guys thought it was! The writer of the show just made it seem like that to tease you! Honest!" Edward flailed his arms. "I was…flower picking…with Winry because she asked me to and some of the flowers were dripping their…flower juice. And some of it fell on my lip so it must've looked like lip gloss. The reason I didn't say that is coz…I'm a man…I shouldn't be picking flowers with a girl." Ed muttered the whole time, making everyone laugh and Mustang slapped him on the back and whispered to Edward "Black mail material…on national television. Smooth kid."

"Oh shut up." Ed whispered back.

"Next question…yes, you." Havoc stood up whilst twiddling his cigarette in his mouth whilst grinning evilly.

"Mustang this is for you. Is Riza pissed off that you let the secret out about you guys?" Havoc's eyes glistened while Mustang sighed. "I had to hide her guns from her for a week, but by the time she forgave me from spilling our secret, she was even more pissed off about the fact that I hid all her guns." Some people in the crowd laughed while others let out sympathetic whimpers.

"Last question!" Father pointed to Olivier Armstrong who said "This is for all of you. Did you think that the brat would win the competition? Apart from yourself, who did you think would win?"

Edward answered first. "Well, I won but if I didn't I thought that anybody except…Hoenheim…would win. I guess I was right." He said Hoenheim with regret; as if he felt bad he would never see him again.

"Oh, I always expected Nii-san to win! After teacher got out though." Alphonse replied to Olivier.

"Well, I already said what I thought, but after I got out I thought one of my pupils would win and I was right!" Izumi shouted triumphantly.

"I thought I would win, but if it wasn't me I honestly thought that Alphonse would win, I don't know why." Mustang said thoughtfully.

"Ed and Al all the way!" Winry finished.

"Let's go have something to eat, I'm starving!" Ed complained, rubbing his empty stomach. Father nodded and he ran off the stage to be first at the buffet table. "Everybody go mingle and just have fun!" Father walked off the stage. After fighting at the buffet table for the food, everybody went to different tables. Mustang, Edward, Alphonse, Winry and Havoc sat on one table and began to make conversation.

"Where's Riza and the others from work?" Mustang asked Havoc as he ate his steak.

"Catching up on _your _paperwork you didn't do while you were here." Havoc gruffly replied. "I finished, so I'm representing the office. Hey chief, congrats for winning. It's strange to see you without an auto mail arm. Alphonse, looking good!" Alphonse blushed and Edward slung his arm around Al's neck.

"Well, it's weird not having a metal arm but I'm so happy that Al's body is back." Edward said proudly. "Alphonse can sleep and eat again, but he snores really loud…"

"Brother!" But they just laughed at the younger boy.

"So will you stay in the military or is my office going to be dull again?" Mustang asked the former alchemist.

"I guess…I'll stay if I can stay as a major who can't do alchemy."

"So, bastard. When're getting married to Riza?" Edward grinned an innocent grin while Mustang glared at him.

"Dunno..." Mustang mumbled, admitting that he wants to marry her.

"Awwww you guys make such a cute couple!" Winry squealed.

"Al-ssaaaaaammmmmmmmaaaaaa!" Mei ran to their table and glomped a blushing Alphonse.

"Err hi Mei-chan…" Alphonse smiled at her. Mei just stared at his face while grinning.

"Al-sama, you're so handsome as a human! You're my prince charming! Let's go for a walk!" Before Alphonse could object she was already running along and dragging him with her. He gave puppy dog eyes to his brother, who only laughed and waved at him. "Have fun you love birds!" Alphonse only stuck his tongue out at his brother.

* * *

"I would like to make a toast." Father raised his wine glass (white wine to make sure it wasn't the philosopher's stone) in the air. "To the success of my reality TV show and to its competitors! May it be remembered and for the competitors to lead happy lives!" He downed his glass in one gulp as did everyone else, clapping. "There is time for one quick dance before my renting time on this island runs out." Father explained, putting some slow music on. "Now go and have fun!" Edward and Winry watched as Mei walked Alphonse to the dance floor and they began to slow dance, both of their faces a noticeable shade of red. Izumi and Sig were next to go up. To the shock of most people, Olivier and Miles started to dance next and then Ling and Lan Fan walked on. Edward offered his hand to Winry while muttering "As friends." She nodded and they began to slow dance.

Somebody tapped Roy's shoulder and as he turned around he saw Riza smiling with a red cocktail dress on. She had managed to make it in time for the dance. Mustang took her onto the floor and they slowly began to dance, ignoring other couples whom they didn't know anyway.

All too soon (or so it seemed) the song ended and everyone bid each other farewell, promising to visit each other again. Edward and Alphonse had promised to visit Izumi sometime in the future and told Mustang he'd be back at work next week. Mustang had decided to let Ed be a major, even if he couldn't use alchemy. Alphonse was going to visit Mei in Xing and Edward was going to stay in Risembool for a little longer.

Before they were going to leave, Father presented Alphonse with the tiger cub Spitfire that he found before. He patted his head for the final time before leaving him on the island, deciding he couldn't take the tiger with him on his travels.

So, for all the competitors of the show and their friends, it was a happy ending. But little did they know that Father had transported back to his lair and was plotting his next TV show…

"How about…Homunculus: Ultimate Chef?" Father cackled, already making arrangements.

* * *

_I'm kind of sad this is over now, but so happy I finally finished it! I sincerely hope you like the ending, but I'm worried that I made it too happy…Oh and before you say Father is OOC, because he's been OOC since chapter 1 I decided to mess up his character completely XD Please review!_

_Fma crusher xx_


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